DISCLAIMER: The characters and situations of the television program"Lonesome Dove: The Outlaw Years" are the creations of Rysher Television, and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended. This story or the new characters created by the author are not to be published on any ftp site, newsgroup, mailing list, fanzine or elsewhere without the express permission of the author.
"Maria Bennett" and all original material included in this story are the creations of Darcie Daniels.
April 1882
She preferred the white wolves, or at least that was what she thought as she looked into the mirror. Her dreams were of black wolves now. In her nightmares, they circled around her blood brother, haunting his every step. She yelled at the animals, but they never heard her. Her blood brother did not hear her, either, in those dreams. He was wounded, and the animals surrounded him. She always woke when the black wolves moved in on him. God took pity on her, she supposed. She did not have to watch him die.
The black circles under her eyes matched the color of her dress. She straightened her hair. She had been indoors far too long.
Maria stepped into the next room, only to see her uncle staring pitifully into the fire. He clutched the photograph of Hannah in his left hand and the Bible in the right. He obviously had all he needed to sustain him.
Her uncle did not acknowledge her presence. She doubted that he had had anything to eat that morning. She thought about asking him about his breakfast, but decided it was not worth wasting her words. He had not eaten, and he would not eat.
He would drink, though. He found plenty of time for that.
Like father like son, Maria thought bitterly. Surely that was where Austin had spent the night - at the Number 10. Not with them. Not that she could blame him. Since Newt Call's presumed death, the Peale family had spiraled down a path of misery. Josiah was ... well ... Josiah. Austin resented his father's grief, as well as Maria's. Maria resented Austin's resentment. Worse than that, she thought that her uncle was a coward. He was not the only person in this world to lose someone, yet he certainly seemed to think he was the only one to ever feel pain. Maria thought at times that she hated him.
She hated the newspaper office -- that was for certain. The sooner she could marry Mr. Shelby, the better. She wanted nothing to do with them.
She said nothing of it, of course. She had spoken very little since her blood brother's disappearance. She would smile at her fiancé and clutch at his hand, but she did not speak to her family. She found that she had nothing nice to say to them.
"Where's Newt?" Josiah called out. His blue eyes stared into the flames.
"Where's Austin?" Maria grumbled more appropriately.
"Where's Newt?" her uncle repeated, growing angry.
"You don't know where Austin is, do you?" Maria muttered to herself. Her uncle Josiah could probably care less about his son's whereabouts.
"Where's Newt?" her uncle demanded.
Maria stopped herself from asking him where his beloved daughter Hannah was. She knew that would shut the old fool up, but she could not bring herself to do it. She felt like crying. Maria did not know when she turned mean.
Instead, she moved towards the door. The snow was thawing. Perhaps she would watch it melt. But she would not sit at his bench to watch it. It was too lonely there without him.
And she could not make any more wedding plans - at least not yet. It was no fun when she had no one to tell them to. She had no one to tell anything to.
Her fiancé tried to help her as best he could. Dearest Robert, Maria thought to herself. He insisted that she tell him what she was feeling and thinking, but Maria was tired of being a blubbering fool in front of him. She did not want him to think that he was marrying a blubbering fool. Instead, she clutched his hand when she felt sad. She held his hand often.
She wanted Mr. Shelby to hold her. That was what she really wanted, but her cousin Austin prevented them from doing anything but hold hands. Their "chaperone" dogged them wherever they went. Maria wished that Austin would skulk himself into a wall.
Instead, her cousin walked through the back door. His face and hair were scraggly. He reeked of alcohol and cigars, although he appeared sober enough.
"Where are you going?" Austin demanded.
Maria felt that it was obvious where she was headed. She did not say anything as her hand touched the door knob.
"Damn it, answer me." He grabbed her and turned her around.
Maria looked at Austin's grip on her shoulder. Her icy gaze settled on her cousin's face.
"Has he eaten anything?" he said, his face growing desperate. He clutched both her shoulders.
"Doubt it," she finally answered. "There's some bread in the kitchen. The milk is in the ice box. Help yourself."
Her cousin let go of her. He ran his fingers through his hair. He appeared as if he did not know what to do.
Her hand was on the door knob when she added, "You can find the booze anywhere. I suppose both of you are living on it now."
She slammed the door before she could see his response.
She bit her lip. She wondered what was happening to her.
Her dark red wounds contrasted with the white of her coat. The Hell Bitch looked much better than she had weeks before. She had been a mess then - large bits of flesh were torn from her flank. The horse had hobbled into town - bloody and riderless. The whereabouts of bounty hunter Newt Call were under doubtful speculation - surely no one could have survived an attack that rendered such trauma to his horse. It was suggested that the horse be put down, but Unbob and Maria insisted otherwise. Maria wondered if that was the right decision as she looked into the Hell Bitch's wary eyes.
The Captain could not take the horse when she was in such perilous condition. Woodrow F. Call had arrived in Curtis Wells shortly after he had been wired about his son's disappearance. He left with another horse to track his son. That had been weeks ago. There had been no word.
Enona Horn had been there, also, though not at the same time as the Captain. She set out to track the missing bounty hunter, too. Maria wondered who would return to Curtis Wells first - the ranger or the hunter. She dreaded the appearance of either ... surely a body would be trailing behind. Maria did not know if she could withstand that. There was a slight chance that her blood brother could be alive, but her hopes dwindled with each passing day. He was dead. Surely he was dead.
Maria stared into the dark brown eyes of the last living creature that had seen her blood brother alive. The Hell Bitch gave her a wary glance, snorted, and returned to eating what had been placed in her stall. It was a good sign for the horse. Unbob said that she had not been eating as she should since her attack. No doubt she missed her master.
Maria regarded the horse. She was wildly beautiful, yet she seemed to hold herself at a distance. Perhaps it was only the color of her coat, Maria thought. Perhaps it was the Hell Bitch's personality. Maria wondered if the horse wanted to be touched and comforted but was too wary to let anyone near her. Just like her blood brother, Maria thought. She bit her lip to stay the flow of tears.
The horse looked up at her. Her neck muscles rippled with each breath. She was still powerful, though wounded.
"I don't know how to ride," Maria explained to her. "I couldn't hurt you."
The horse seemed to consider her words. She snorted and moved back a few steps. The poor thing had to hobble when she shifted her weight.
"I won't touch you unless you want me to," Maria whispered soothingly. She ached to touch her, to comfort her somehow.
The Hell Bitch snorted, pawed at the ground, and returned to eating.
Maria watched her. She was her blood brother's friend. She had been with him for years, even before he came to Curtis Wells. She had known him better than anyone.
"You wouldn't leave him out there alone if he was alive, would you?" Maria whispered.
The horse did not respond.
"He's not alive, is he?"
The horse looked up at her, or at least, that was what Maria had believed. Instead, the horse had responded to a new presence - Mr. Mosby.
Maria drew in a deep breath to collect herself. She wondered how long he had been standing there.
He did not say anything to her, but he looked at her sympathetically as he removed his gloves.
"She's looking better," he commented about the horse.
"Yes," Maria struggled to say. The lump in her throat prevented her from saying anything else.
Mr. Mosby eased up to the Hell Bitch. The Hell Bitch whinnied and backed away.
"Easy girl," he said. He held out his hand to her. The Hell Bitch stood still for a moment, pawed the ground, and then hobbled over to him. She found the sugar in his hand.
He stroked her muzzle.
"She's pretty, isn't she?" Maria commented.
Mr. Mosby nodded as he continued to stroke the animal. "Do you want to pet her?"
Maria was not sure if that was such a great idea. "She doesn't know me."
"Just approach her slowly. She'll be all right." He patted the horse on the neck.
Maria wondered if she would be all right as she made her way over to the Hell Bitch's stall. The Hell Bitch backed away somewhat, but Mr. Mosby soothed her. Maria stood still.
"She likes you, Mr. Mosby."
"She likes the sugar cubes in my pocket. That's what she likes. Here, take some."
Maria reached out with a tentative hand, but the Hell Bitch pawed at the ground. Maria snatched her hand away from Mr. Mosby's and backed away.
"Maria, it's all right -"
She shook her head. It was not all right. Now she could smell the horse. The Hell Bitch smelled like Newt Call, or Newt Call had smelled like her. Maria wrapped her arms about herself and took another step behind her. She bit her lip, trying to overcome the ache in her heart.
Mr. Mosby gave the Hell Bitch a final pat as he regarded Maria. "You know, Call's a hard man to kill. I've seen him face down five different men at once and walk away with nary a scratch. I'm sure he'll be all right."
Her tears threatened to spill. It was too much to hope for.
"He's too stubborn to die, Maria. Remember that."
Maria nodded at him gratefully.
Mr. Mosby put back on his gloves and walked over to his own black horse.
"I've told Newton that your horse would make a fine match with his mare, but he wasn't too keen on the idea," she blurted out before he could mount. She looked to the ground. Perhaps she should not have said that.
Mr. Mosby smiled to himself and nuzzled his horse.
Then Maria remembered that her blood brother had told that Mr. Mosby's horse was a gelding. She blushed furiously. Then she began to giggle. Newton always did like to spoil the romance.
Maria caught herself before her giggles turned into tears.
"Maria, why don't you go home and get some rest?" Mr. Mosby suggested after a moment.
Her home was the last place that she could rest in.
"I'm fine, Mr. Mosby. Really."
"I could get Robert for you."
Maria nodded. That was a good idea. "Just don't tell him that I'm a blubbering fool. Please?"
Mr. Mosby chuckled at her, as he mounted his horse. "I would never do that." He tipped his hat to her. "Do try to get some rest, Miss Bennett."
Maria watched him leave the livery. She bit her lip when she was left alone with the Hell Bitch. The horse looked at her, as if in challenge.
"I'm sorry, girl," she whispered. "I can't."
She backed away and finally turned around when she reached the door to the livery. She had not gone but a few steps when her cousin loomed before her.
"What did Mosby want?" Austin demanded.
Her cousin had startled her, but she did not say anything. She tried to walk past him, but he did not allow it.
"He's always around for the grieving females," he added sarcastically. "Makes them feel better. That bastard."
Her mouth tightened. She wanted to tell him that Mr. Mosby had at least tried to comfort her - unlike her cousin. She tried to move around him, but he prevented her.
"Where's Shelby? Thought at first you were in the loft with him, then I saw Mosby coming out. Better you be alone with Shelby than with Mosby, any day."
She gave Austin an icy glare. As soon as her fiancé arrived, she would not have to suffer the indignity of being alone with her cousin.
"Damn it, Maria. Aren't you going to say anything?"
Maria smiled. He finally understood.
"You'll talk to Mosby, though. Won't you? You like those Southern men, don't you, Maria?"
Now he was baiting her. She looked off aloofly as she balled her fists.
"What the hell did I do to you?" Austin demanded. "Ever since ... you walk around here like you got a chip on your shoulder."
Maria knew that he was wrong. It was called grief. Austin apparently did not understand it.
"You only respond when that cracker boyfriend of yours shows up."
"He's not a 'cracker,' Austin Peale. You take that back."
Amusement touched her cousin's eyes. "Hope he's not planning on wearing a coonskin cap to your wedding. Might clash with your pink veil, Maria."
"Austin!"
"Just be careful when he asks you to go coon hunting. It's just another way to get you alone in the woods."
Maria shook her head and tried to leave.
"What are you gonna feed him? We don't have possum. You'll have to fix him up some squirrel stew. Better start catching them. Takes a lot of squirrels to make squirrel soup."
Her cousin was impossible. He was being so silly that she nearly began to laugh.
"Next thing you know he'll be running up a Confederate flag on your door. Say, do you know how to cook grits?"
"Shut up, Austin," she grumbled, trying to hide her smile. "He's a gentleman, unlike you."
Austin shrugged at that argument. "Well, I'm not the ass you think I am."
Maria scrutinized him. He looked like the usual garden-variety ruffian to her. "Don't you feel any pain? Don't you feel any loss now that he's gone?" she asked.
Her cousin's jaw twitched, but he did not respond.
Maria nodded at him. That was what she thought.
"He's been gone before," he said. "We were all right then."
"Do you think he's dead?" Maria asked pointedly.
Austin opened his mouth to say something, but he apparently decided against it.
"No, but you've just wished it," she stated.
Her cousin's jaw tightened. "It was better when you didn't say anything at all."
He stalked off before she could.
"Sweetheart, I've heard from my old friend. She's written that she'll be coming to our wedding in June. She might be down a little early for a visit. I'm sure you'll like her. Maria? Honey?"
Maria tore her gaze away from the empty bench to stare into her fiancé's eyes. "I'll like her," she echoed as she gripped onto his hand.
Mr. Shelby frowned. "Perhaps we should postpone the wedding ..."
"No!" she snapped. Then she clutched his hand tighter. "I don't want that. Please, not that."
"Are you sure?"
"Can't we ... maybe we should ... next time a judge is in town ... elope?"
"But you've already made a lot of the wedding plans."
She had made plans for her blood brother to walk her down the aisle, but now that idea was hopeless. She did not want her uncle to escort her. She did not even want to touch his elbow. He would probably be too inebriated to care anyway.
"I just want us to get married as soon as possible," she argued.
Mr. Shelby sighed. "As much as I'd like that, honey, I don't think so. I have nowhere for us to live right now. You don't want to live above the Ambrosia, do you? We'll have to wait until the Williams move out of their apartment in June, just as we've planned."
"I don't care where we live, as long as I'm with you," Maria answered, a desperation growing in her voice.
"You're not living in the Ambrosia," he said firmly. "I won't have it."
"We could live in the Dove," she suggested.
"You know I can't afford that. We'll have to wait until June, like I --"
"We could use my money."
Mr. Shelby's expression darkened. "What, you want everyone in town to think I'm a gold digger? That I can't even take care of my own wife?"
"My money will be yours legally when you marry me anyway. I don't see why it matters."
He let go of her hand. "It matters plenty. We are not using your money, and that is final."
"But Robert -"
"I said 'no.'"
Maria's jaw clenched, but she did not say anything. She merely nodded at him and walked away.
"Maria -"
She shrugged off his hand and turned to face him. "Fine. If you want to wait until June - fine. You still want to wait until June, don't you? Or don't you want to get married at all?"
"Damn it, I never said that."
"You didn't have to."
Before she turned to stalk away from him, he grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her into an alley. "Do you mind telling me what the hell is this all about?"
"This is about you not wanting to marry me."
He let out a grunt of frustration. "That's not true. This is about you not getting your own way."
She gave him a short but cold laugh. "Yes, that's partly it. The other part of the problem is that if I leave you now, I have nowhere to go."
Then she felt so totally despondent that she felt like sobbing. She placed her hands over her face so he could not see her.
He sighed and pulled her closer to him. "Damn it, if you aren't the most exasperating woman ..." He stroked the length of her back.
"Robert, I can't go back to that house," she whispered into his shoulder.
"It's just a few more months, sweetheart."
She felt him pull away from her. She understood the reason why when she saw Austin glaring at them from across the street. Her eyes narrowed at her cousin.
Her fiancé caressed her chin. He smiled at her mischievously. "Well, I could always move in with you and your family after we get married. We'd get along just fine."
"I'd rather live outside, thank you very much."
His expression turned serious. "No, you wouldn't. I've done that for too many years of my life. I've never had a home, but I want one. With you. Can't you understand that?"
She nodded at him. She understood that all too well.
"You can wait a few more months, can't you, sweetheart?"
She nodded.
"It will be all right," he said.
Maria glared at her cousin. She hoped so.
She awoke to the sound of a bottle smashing against the floor. She was angry, although she supposed she ought to thank her uncle for interrupting her nightmare. The wolves were just baring their teeth at her blood brother.
She ripped off her bed sheets and slipped into her shoes. She knew better than to walk around in their house barefoot. Josiah was always breaking something these days.
He was where she had expected him to be. He sat in front of the dying embers, staring into his own vision of hell. The bottle had slipped out of his grasp, and the shards reflected what little light was left of the fire.
Maria stalked over to the wood pile. It was still April, and the temperatures plummeted at night. She shoved some logs into the fire and rounded angrily upon her uncle. He had not moved -- his body was as expressionless as his stare. He could have been dead, except she could see the drool on his lips. She opened her mouth to reprimand him, but she decided that he was not worth the effort. Instead, she went to the kitchen for a broom.
He still did not move when she swept the glass from the floor. She forced his legs to one side as she swept from underneath him. Her uncle growled at her. She glared at him.
She heard a fumbling at the door. It was unlike Austin to come home so early. It was still the dead of night.
Maria gripped her broom. She was in no mood for him.
He shuffled through the door. He even smelled drunk.
He looked at her, but he did not say anything. He took off his coat, letting it fall to the floor. He headed towards his room.
Maria growled underneath her breath. The Peale men always left things lying on the floor.
"Watch the glass," she muttered as she passed him. She had to pick up his coat. She would not live in a pig sty, not while she was there.
"Newt," Josiah sighed, still staring into the fire.
Maria saw Austin stop to regard his father. A look of helplessness crossed over her cousin's face.
"Get Newt," Josiah told him.
Maria roughly hung up Austin's coat.
"I can't," Austin whispered.
"Newt," Josiah wailed.
"Father, I'm your son," Austin pleaded.
"Get Newt!" Josiah demanded.
"Get him yourself," Maria growled underneath her breath as she still clutched the broom.
Austin looked from his father to her. The firelight gave her cousin an almost haunted appearance.
"I -" he began. His dark eyes searched hers. He could not bring himself to say anything else.
"Hannah," Josiah moaned to the fire.
Austin's jaw firmed as he regarded his father.
"Go to bed, Austin," Maria told him, her grip loosening on her broom.
His head bowed to the ground. He nodded.
Maria sighed, hugging the broom to her.
She heard someone pounding on the front door of the newspaper office. It was still early. Austin's head bowed down upon the kitchen table. He seemed unaware of the noise. No doubt he thought the banging was his hangover.
Maria took the eggs off the stove and tossed her apron on the table. She walked passed her sleeping uncle in the parlor to go to the front of the office. Through the glass, she could see a man pounding on the door.
She unlatched the door to find a tall man standing before her. His clothes were filthy, and his beard was as ragged as his teeth. He had a black eye, and a scowl marred his ugly face. He looked dangerous. She became afraid. Maria wished she had not unlocked the door.
"Austin Peale," the man growled. "Where is he?"
"He's not here." Maria's heart began to race. She tried to shut the door, but the man prevented her. He shoved his way inside.
"He's here. They told me he came here last night."
"Well, he's not," Maria lied, raising her voice. "My uncle is very ill. You better leave now, before you wake him up."
She placed herself in front of him. She tried to look as authoritative as she could. "Leave now."
The man snorted at her. "Step aside, missy."
Maria raised her chin in defiance. "My uncle's sick. I won't let you wake him. Now leave."
The man growled at her and shoved her aside. She cried out as she lost her footing and fell back into the press.
She tried to disentangle herself as the man made his way into the back rooms. She grabbed a heavy dictionary and ran after him.
In the living room, she saw her uncle struggling with the man. The stocky man easily threw Josiah against the wall. Her uncle appeared dazed.
Austin tackled the intruder. They crashed to the floor, breaking Josiah's chair and side table. The men wrestled and hit each other. The intruder grabbed a piece of the broken table and rammed it into Austin's side. The man struggled to his feet as Austin clutched his middle. The intruder was about to pull out his gun when Maria swung the dictionary at his head. It temporarily dazed him, but it gave Austin enough time to charge into the intruder's stomach, knocking the man over. Austin and the man wrestled again, this time struggling over the gun. Maria screamed as the gun fired several times. She ran over to her uncle, trying to get him out of the way of the bullets. The man shoved Austin to the floor as another shot rang out. Maria grunted and fell. She clutched her leg. Her uncle tried to move her as Austin punched the man. The intruder lost his grip on the gun, and Austin rammed the man's wrist on the floor. Maria could hear the crack of his bone as the gun skittered its way across the floorboards. Josiah grabbed the gun in his shaking hands. Austin savagely pounded the intruder. Maria could see blood and teeth spew from the man's mouth.
"Austin!" Josiah shouted.
Austin did not hear as he continued to pulverize the man's face.
"Austin!" Josiah shouted again, this time dropping the gun. He ran over to his son, trying to pull him off the man.
Austin's jaw relaxed, and he pushed himself off of the man. His breath was rapid. His jaw clenched again when he heard the intruder moan. He looked as if he was about to kick him, but Austin stopped himself. He apparently did not think he was worth the effort.
He ran his hand through his hair, looking about the room. "Is everyone all right?" he asked, still breathing heavily.
Maria grimaced as she clutched her leg. She tried to stand up, but she fell back down again.
"She's been shot," Josiah informed him as they both rushed to her side. "Get the doctor."
"I'm all right," Maria said, clenching her teeth. She tried to wave them away.
The intruder groaned.
Austin stood up and kicked him. The man fell silent.
Austin gave the gun to Josiah. "If he moves, shoot him. I'll get Cleese."
Austin rushed out of the room as Josiah placed the dictionary under Maria's head. They stared at each other, wondering what just happened. Josiah pressed a blanket to her leg.
"Well," he sighed. "Did I ever tell you the story about old Jedidiah Peale? He only took baths in months ending with 'Y,' you know. He bathed only four times a year, which some say is the sign of aberrant behavior. People could always tell when he was coming."
She grimaced and passed out.
Maria woke up, fumbled for her glasses, tossed aside her bed sheet, saw her leg, wiggled her toes, moaned, and then promptly covered her bare leg. She still had two legs, thank goodness, although she was definitely sure she was going to have another scar. She briefly wondered where she had not been shot, and deciding that she had been shot in almost every conceivable place, that she could never be shot again. It truly was a relief.
She peeked under her sheet. The skin was swollen and inflamed surrounding the bandage. Her previous gunshot wounds had looked like that.
Then Maria wondered who took off her skirt to work on her wounds. She was also missing her corset, although she still wore her chemise. Her eyes widened in alarm.
"Honey, what are you doing?"
Maria yanked her blanket to her chin. "Robert!" she gasped. "What are you -- " She stopped abruptly when she realized that she was in Dr. Cleese's office. She wondered how she got there.
Then she spied her corset lying in the chair next to her. No doubt her fiancé would see it if he attempted to sit. "Go away, Robert. I'm indecent."
He grinned wickedly at her. "Good. May have a look?"
Maria's jaw dropped as her face reddened. She bit back her smile. "No."
Then Mr. Shelby's expression became serious. He tossed aside the corset and pulled the chair closer to her. He clasped her hand, kissing it. "How are you feeling? The doctor said you lost a lot of blood."
Maria did feel a little tired. "I'm fine. I feel no different than when I've been shot before."
Mr. Shelby cursed under his breath. "It's not safe for you here."
"I'm fine, Robert. Really. Everything is going to be all right now."
He looked unconvinced. "It's too dangerous. We should leave Curtis Wells."
Maria's heart quickened. "You can't mean that."
"Your throat was almost cut a couple of months ago," Mr. Shelby argued. "Then the wolves ... and now you've been shot. Again. Good Lord, I've got to get you away from here."
Maria tried to laugh him off. "Things happen."
He nodded. "Well, they seem to happen to you all too frequently."
"They'll happen anywhere. Please. We can't go."
He sighed. "Call's dead, Maria. Staying here won't bring him back."
She had not been thinking of her blood brother. She blanched.
"I'm sorry, hon -"
"Where are my uncle and cousin?" Maria whispered. She pulled her hand away from his, tugging her covers closer about her.
Mr. Shelby frowned. "Dr. Cleese said only one of us could visit you at a time. They're out in the waiting room."
"They're all right?"
"Yes."
Maria sighed in relief. "Good. That man had no right to attack us the way he did. I don't know what would have happened if Austin hadn't been there. He saved our lives."
Mr. Shelby shoved himself out of the chair and paced the room. "Austin's the bastard that got you hurt in the first place."
"What do you mean?"
"The man that attacked you is named 'Raines.' Your cousin was sleeping with his wife, and he came to your house to call Austin out. The only reason Raines was there was because of Austin. Thanks to your cousin's indiscretions, you could have been killed."
Maria frowned. She knew that Austin liked to visit Twyla's girls, but she never thought he would commit adultery. "He wouldn't do that."
"Well, he did. There were several people at the Number Ten last night that saw the whole thing. Raines accused Austin of sleeping with his wife, and Austin punched him out. I suppose the man came directly to your door as soon as he sobered up."
"Austin would not commit adultery, Robert. The man pushed his way in."
"He was there for Austin."
"He was there to hurt us," she argued. "He pushed me against the press. He slammed my uncle against the wall. He did not care who he hurt, just as long as he was hurting someone. I feel sorry for his poor wife. He probably threw her around, too."
Her fiancé's face darkened. "Raines' wife came to post his bail. She was as beat up as he was. Dr. Cleese patched up both of them as best he could."
"Then Austin gave him the licking he deserved," she said, nodding.
"That's not the point, Maria. He brought the danger to you."
Maria waved him off. "It hardly matters now. Everything worked out all right."
"It's not all right. You could have been killed."
"Robert," she soothed. "I had a big dictionary. I was well protected. Everything was under control."
He stared at her for a moment, then laughed. "What could you do with a dictionary? Test his pronunciation?"
"No, silly. I hit him with it."
"Then I hope you never come after me with a dictionary."
"I might," she teased. "If you get out of line."
He rushed to her bedside, caressed her face, and kissed her most passionately. She felt more dazed by his kiss than by any bullet that could possibly wound her.
"Why didn't you do that before?" she asked when she recovered somewhat.
"You told me to 'go away,'" he replied huskily. "Don't ever worry me like that again."
"I won't."
"Good." He nibbled on her hand.
She tore her eyes away from his when she heard a harrumph of disgust. Her cousin Austin stood in the doorway. He looked awful.
"You done yet?" Austin smirked.
Her fiancé stood in front of her protectively. "You don't belong anywhere near her, you bastard. This is all your fault."
Austin's good eye narrowed. The other eye was swollen and was beginning to darken.
"Robert, it's all right," Maria said.
He looked down at her. "Honey, I don't want you around him anymore. Tomorrow, you'll get your things and move into the Dove."
"But, Robert -"
"Stay out of it, Shelby," Austin interrupted. "You ain't married to her yet."
Austin squared himself in the doorway. He appeared willing to go into another battle, and her fiancé looked as if he was going to oblige him.
Maria would have stomped her foot had she been standing, although she supposed it would have hurt. She could not allow them to brawl right in the middle of Dr. Cleese's office.
"Robert, I'm not moving back into the Dove. When I marry you, my home will be with you. But until the time, my home is with Austin and my uncle. I'm not moving into a hotel where I'm nothing to nobody. I won't do it." She shifted and grimaced in pain. She tried to ease herself back down, but was only rewarded with more pain.
"Don't work yourself up, honey," her fiancé told her, gently positioning her. He gave her a warning look. "We'll discuss this later."
She gave him a warning look, as well. They would discuss it until the cows came home, and even then, she would not change her mind.
His eyes narrowed at her, and then he turned to face her cousin. Austin looked all too satisfied.
Her fiancé knelt down to kiss her forehead. "Get some rest," he said. "Don't let ... him ... keep you up too long."
Maria smiled indulgently at him. She really did love him.
Then she watched him leave. She wondered how Austin could appear so smug underneath all those bruises.
After a brief visit with her cousin, her uncle visited her, and then her fiancé sat with her once again. She fell asleep after that. When she awoke, Maria was startled to see Austin sitting again by her bedside. He was sound asleep in the chair.
He looked like a boy that had just been beaten up in the schoolyard. He needed someone to kiss his wounds, pat him on the head, and send him off to bed with a glass of milk. He looked so ... innocent.
He woke up. He groaned as he tried to move his stiff body.
"Hey," he said.
Maria nodded at him.
"You feel any better?"
She nodded at him again. "You probably should go home," she remarked. "Sleep in a real bed."
Austin shrugged. "Father's there. Saw him off a few hours ago. Wouldn't want to wake him."
Maria gave him a small smile. Then she looked at him in concern. "That eye is looking worse. Maybe Dr. Cleese has something for you to put on that."
He waved her off.
They did not say anything for a moment.
"Austin ..." she began. She was not sure how to ask him. "Who is Mr. Raines?"
Any expression of innocence on Austin's face disappeared with his snarl. "That bastard. Should have beat the life out of him."
Maria frowned, thinking that he almost had. "You were protecting us," she said somewhat questioningly.
Austin scrutinized her. "Yeah?"
"He came to the door asking for you."
Her cousin shrugged, looking away from her.
She sighed. "Robert said something ... that perhaps you were ... something about the wife." Her eyes shifted down to a loose thread on her bedcover.
Austin stood up and paced about the room. "You believe him?"
"There were people at the Number 10 - "
"If I told you that I didn't even know that woman, it wouldn't matter to you, would it?"
"Of course it would."
"I shouldn't have to tell you, though. Should I?"
Maria sighed. It was unfortunate, but her cousin did have to tell her. "I told Robert that you wouldn't do such a thing. Are you satisfied?"
Austin snorted and sat back down.
She wondered why her relationship with her cousin always had to be so strained.
Her fingers played with the loose thread on her bed cover.
He looked at her fingers.
"Austin, it's nice of you to sit here with me," she finally said. "Thank you."
His expression softened as he nodded.
"You sat with me last time," she remembered.
He harrumphed. "Shelby shot you, if you recall. And you're marrying him. Big mistake."
She did not hear him. The ache in her heart nearly overwhelmed her. Her blood brother had also sat with her. Her blood brother had walked her around the room. Her blood brother had talked to her to keep her awake. Her blood brother had poured coffee down her throat. Newt Call was the closest thing she had to a brother, and now he was gone. He would not be walking through that door to sit with her. He would never be there to help her. She would never see her best friend again.
She pressed the back of her hand to her face, trying to stop herself from weeping. Her hand became wet. She drew in a deep breath to collect herself, but it sounded like a whimper. She wiped her eyes, sniffing.
"Ah, damn it," Austin said. "You know I say things about Shelby all the time. I didn't mean to make you cry."
"It's not that."
"Then what then? Are you in pain? You want me to get the doctor?"
"No. I hurt a little, but it's not that." She found herself reluctant to tell him.
Austin's jaw clenched. "You miss Call," he said.
She nodded. She could not look at him.
She could hear his breath. Her tears gently pattered on her bed cover.
"You wish it was me out there instead of him," he said quietly.
Maria brushed her tears away and regarded him. He had the look of a wounded animal.
She could not believe what he had just said to her. "Austin, if that isn't the stupidest thing I've ever heard ..."
He looked at her intently. "It's true, isn't it?"
"No, for heaven's sakes. Why would you say such a thing? It just means that one pain would be exchanged for another. It would hurt no less. Now stop saying such things."
He swallowed as he tried to mask his emotions. A lock of his hair fell across his forehead. Maria touched his hand. "It's all right, Austin."
He nodded, giving her a small smile.
She grinned at him mischievously as she pulled her hand away. "I hope you know that since I'm shot that you'll have to do all the sweeping, and no more sweeping under the rug. You'll have to do the dusting and cleaning, too. Someone also needs to cook."
Austin's mouth twisted wryly. "Yeah, right."
Maria considered his words. "No, we better go to the Dove for dinner. You'll have to help me hobble, you know."
Amusement touched his eyes. He nodded. "I will."
September 2003